It was three years back when I was looking for a topic for my proposal. It was hard and I did not have any idea on what should be my research. (Only now I know that this was not right, I should find the gap first before finding the topic...if you are interested, you can read from drotspss.blogspot.com). Thinking whether my application would be accepted by Monash University was making me restless. I am a psychiatrist and my interest is about children. I have been running the child psychiatry clinic for almost 4 years before I decided to do child subspecialty training. I was offered a post in Box Hill Hospital, Victoria, Australia together with my friend Dr Nor Harlina Bahar. However, my two attempts taking IELTS exam were disappointing. I failed to get 7 band in my reading (both was 6.5 and 6 respectively). I have expected this would be difficult for me, as I am quite "slow" in reading but not to the extent of dyslexic. I have to struggle remembering what I read in each reading and more challenging when I have to read a journal...Ohhh..that is too difficult. However, despite the difficulties I have, I managed to pass my undergraduate and postgraduate studies Alhamdulillah. That was the reason why I could not do my subspecialty program. Even during the interview with the university panel, my campus director(Dato' Prof Dr. Mafauzy) suggested me to pursue in PhD study. Thinking that the IELTS result was already adequate to apply for PhD in Monash Uni, I then decided to take this offer.
Going back to the proposal, I discussed my proposed title with my head of Department (Dr Mohd Jamil Yaacob), who is also a child psychiatrist. It was about developing a questionnaire to help screening children with dyslexia in Malaysia. He was very helpful and this title was then prepared as a proposal for my application to pursue my PHD study. After searching suitable supervisors, I was introduced to Dr Umesh Sharma and Dr John Roodenberg as my supervisors. They are both educational psychologist and based in education....what education???? That was not what I wanted, but since I thought they were the expert I had no objection.
The pride of being a medical doctor was shaken, however, I believed Allah had planned His best for me and see what happen next. To cut the story short...(you can read how was our preparation to come to Australia in my husband's blog
mohdnoormamat.blogspot.com.au, I am now a higher degree student (research in Psychology) in Monash University, Clayton Campus, Victoria. Working together with my supervisors who are educational psychologists is not easy. The topic kept on changing as I insisted to have a medical approach but they could not fit with their approach.
I had prepared two modules for teachers on how to handle children with behavioural problem (using medical approach...in other word training more "doctors" in school to help screening dyslexia and other behavioural problems, however it was not accepted finally. All together my efforts for 8 months returned to zero and I had to give in and accepted my supervisors' suggestion. I could still remember what my supervisor said
"Norzila, your confirmation panel are educationist, even though this is a very good project, but I don't think they will agree with you unless they are from psychiatry department".
His statement made me aware..."hello...you are in education world and no more in medical world!!!"
From that point of time, I prepared a new proposal based on my supervisor's suggestion. Studying teachers perception towards students with disruptive behaviour in Malaysia. Thank Allah, slowly I see that I have a bigger role in this education world as compared if I am in a psychiatry world. InsyaAllah, my understanding and my project will help to link between education and medical people to help children and teachers at school. at least these two department can talk in the same language...
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